normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
