...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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