consequently i now know what mace tastes like
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
