either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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