fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
