he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
