i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
