do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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