it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
