I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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