she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
