Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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