I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
