I cannot find my penis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
