dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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