After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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