Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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