That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
