so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
