Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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