just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
