i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
