I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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