I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He shit in the fireplace
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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