You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
