She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
