PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
