There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
