You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
