i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i think my cat just said my name.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
