I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
