I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
