YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
