yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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