ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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