Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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