Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
