it's like iHOP with fire
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
