We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
