It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
