Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You can't just leave with hair like that
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
