At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
