Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
