i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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