I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
