i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
