I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
