What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
