I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
