you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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